Stalking can be difficult to recognise. It is not unusual to feel unsure or to dismiss individual incidents, especially if the perpetrator is someone you know.
However, stalking can escalate quickly, becoming more frequent or invasive. It is important to seek help and support, even if you are unsure.
Stalking may overlap with harassment, but often involves a person becoming fixated or obsessive towards someone they are targeting.
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust defines stalking as “a pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour which is repeated, persistent, intrusive and causes fear of violence or engenders alarm and distress in the victim."
Stalking is unwanted and persistent behaviour, usually carried out or orchestrated by one person towards another. It can be perpetrated by someone you know or by a stranger, and can take place online, in person, or both. It is never your fault.
Behaviour that may be considered stalking includes, but is not limited to
- Sending frequent or excessive unwanted communications, including letters, gifts, telephone calls, text messages, emails and social-media messages.
- Damaging property
- Loitering or waiting at places the person regularly visits
- Watching, spying on or following someone
- Repeatedly turning up at someone’s home
- Identity theft
- Excessive communication, such as multiple calls or messages every day
- Creating fake social-media accounts to contact someone
- Repeatedly turning up at lectures, seminars, study spaces, accommodation or social events when they are not expected
- Monitoring someone’s online activity, location or whereabouts
- Accessing or attempting to access someone’s phone, email or social-media accounts
- Using tracking devices or location-sharing tools without permission
- Contacting friends, housemates, classmates or family to obtain information about someone
- Sharing personal information, images or rumours about someone online
- Making threats, including threats to harm the person, themselves, pets or property
- Impersonating someone online or creating accounts in their name
A single incident may appear minor, but together these actions can form a pattern of behaviour that is frightening and intimidating. If unwanted behaviour is repeated or persistent, it may be stalking.
The FOUR acronym can help you recognise a pattern of stalking behaviour:
Fixated
Obsessive
Unwanted
Repeated
It's often assumed that stalking is carried out only by strangers or that it happens only to celebrities. While this can be the case, stalking is often perpetrated by an ex-partner or by someone the person knows, even if they are only an acquaintance.
In any of these situations, it is important to remember that it is not your fault.
There is no set length of time that stalking can continue. It may be ongoing, or it may become more intense at certain times. Even if the behaviour has reduced or stopped for a period, this does not necessarily mean it will not happen again. Whatever is happening, it is important to seek support.
If someone’s persistent behaviour is unwanted and makes you feel afraid, distressed, or anxious, seek help and support.